Inside and out

i am so fustrated..

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 01:03:19 GMT

omg everyone i am so sick and tired of everything....i am so pissed at everything....
well one of the things is this guy chris...he works at the barn that i work at...except he's hardly there b/c he lives in GA. and is the trainner so he's not there often i guess...he's a jerk and acts as if he's the one that signs my pay checks..i hate him...well then there is my mom i love her to death and thats why i am getting so pissed off with her...see i passes this huge test that the state of FL makes highschool students take and the bet was if i passed it the 1st time then she had to give up smoking..well i passed and she did really good for the 1st few weeks..but now she keeps going over the limit and i wanted to cut her limit to just 3 aday but she keeps smoking like 6-8 and i'm so sick of it..i didn't my fucking part in the bet wby can't she go through with her part? it pisses me off so much..
well then dunstan is really up setting me...1st thing...he told me he wanted to break up while i'm in europe and then when i get back we'd get back together..and i was like ok i guess w/e...don't really have a choice on that b/c is takes 2 to make a relationship and if one doesn't want to be in it the its not a relationship..well then he like hardly ever calls me like he used to..and like ok he'll days hes going to call me but like never does or does really late...or i have to ask him to call me or i call him..i fee like i'm not worth his time or something..idk or there someone else or hes lost intrest...i mean damn..is he just holding out this relationship until i leave so he doesn't hurt me or so he doesn't have to tell me the truth..idk i really don't maybe i am over reacting..but i'm tired of looking at my phone every hour while i'm at working hoping hed call me...
what do i do?

alright

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 22:39:56 GMT

alright well its been awhile i have been so busy...i've been working full time and i just got back from ohio yesterday...i left monday...well saturday i surprised kelly at the airport..she was coming back from europe..i loved her reaction i totally surprised her..it was great...she had a super grand time and that made me happy..yay...well dunstan came back yesterday...things feel weird he doesn't talk much to me anymore like he'll call but not say much..idk whats going on...idk maybe it's b/c i leave in 29 days for europe? idk or maybe i am over reacting to everything...well anyways tomorrow i am babysitting from 10-4 amd then idk whats going on sunday yet...i am suppose to work but i hope i only have to work a 1/2 a day b/c i wanna go into town and get more stuff that i need for europe..then monday back to work..i think i am going to try and see dunstan on monday or tuesday i hope like work a 1/2 a day and then go and be with him for the rest of the day..then back to work for the rest of the week and thats prob it...tomorrow we are suppose to get some really bad rain and winds from hurricane Denis that is psssing by tomorrow i think so that'll be interesting i guess...well thats is..i better go..bye bye

hey

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 00:29:04 GMT

hey everyone alright well theres about 9 days until my boyfriend gets back..and damn it its about time..i really don't know what i am going to do about 10 months...ya his best friend told me we shouldn't date when i'm gone and then when i get back see how we feel about each other but idk..i really love him alot and idk thats just asking for someone to get in the way!!!ya well yesterday was a bad day..had a roach crawl up my arm and onto my shorts that wasn't cool someone thought iw as killing the dog...well then i got poison ivy on my foot..idk how i was wearing shoes then the golf cart blew up*the battery did* when we*my friend brit and i * were taking it out of a field after looking for some hulters...so ya we had to walk the rest of the way.well i was just tired lazy and missing dunstan...well then today was alittle better brittany is dropping her summer class and is going to work full time over the summer.OMg i am SOO happy about that,..i didn't know how iw as going to survive i mean i was missing her and it had only been 1 day!!!!!but it felt like FOREVER!!!
well today brittany came in after class and told us she dropped it..i was super happy....and before that i bleached feed buckets and feed bucket holders...i fead the animals..and cleaned cleaned cleaned and then went to lunch came home and washed roy *the donkey* he's awesome...well we also put sulfer and oil on the feathers of the clydesdales....that was messy!!!!tomorrow it will just be me and brit at the barn b/c everyone else had the day off so i'll write tomorrow and let ya know how that goes..ttyl..bye bye

updates..

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 00:26:45 GMT

alright well my week went kind of well and kind of like i planned and more..monday i worked tuesday i worked wedesday i worked and thursday i worked a 1/2 of day then i went to the mall with kris got some undies*wink wink..lol..*well then today i worked..
well monday nothing to exciting happened...same with tuesday and wedesday i got stepped on by a clydesdale horse..*OUCH!!!!!* then thursday the mall with kris and dunstan called me and he's been e-mailing me just incase i forgot to tell everyone....ya i think him calling me was bad b/c it totally upset me i miss him so much....but i was still happy as hell to hear from him!!!well then thursday my friend brittany and i only worked a 1/2 of say she bought me lunch and we went to her apartments and had lunch there then went to my place and swam until they*her and her room mate that we picked up at the apartments* went a fead the horses while i went to pick up kris..ya kind of confussing...well firday normal day just worked and got a pay check..YAY :D
OMG everyone i have the dorkies boyfriend but he's still SOO cute!!!he bought a kilt in europe....lol..wow..hahaha thats cool but he's not allowed to wear it around me..guys in skirts just aren't me..
well ya idk what else to say about me life right now..i have been working and sleeping VERY little i am constantly waking up in the night...it sucks..i miss dunstan and ya thats about it..alright well tomorrow i have a wedding and then i go to babysitting..so i'll write later..bye bye bye

work work work.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 00:36:49 GMT

alright well my life has been work...i worked tuesday through friday*my 1st week* well then saturday my mom and i were all over town getting stuff like clothes for europe and everything..i am almost all done with clothes for europe i think...then i need the undergarmets and stuff...well then from 5-11 i babysat and then sunday i work all day covering for a friend who wanted the day off...well then today i worked all day again...tuesday i am working all day b/c someone has to leave early and so i will cover for them thne wedesday i am working all day because someone has the day off and i don't want to leave my friend brit at the farm feeding and everything by herself..*thats mean* well then thursday i think and hope i am only working a 1/2 day!!go home shower then at 4 i want to go pick up a friend and go to the mall..friday i think i might work a full day..i am still thinking about that saturday i have a wedding then sunday i am just going to SLEEP and REST!!!so thats my week...i dont know how much of that will actually happen..alright well today was alright i work..and my rents talked to me b/c...they feel i am working to much..i think that is funny though b/c they used to be like you need to get outside do stuff and not just sit around..now i am outside ALL the time and working and everything and now they are saying i need to take a break and not work to much b/c i am working to hard...i need to see friends and be a kid...oh well i need money and i have a job that i need to stay on top of right????i think so...
when my boyfriend gets back from europe i am going to work less and everything so then i can spend more time with him...i miss him SOOO much..i'm kinda upset that he hasn't e-mailed me or called me like he said he would do..is thatw wrong of me to feel up set??what is everyones opinion on all that i dont know whats right and wrong with that??i mean i am not up set enough to say i am mad or anything but just kinda sad that i haven't been able to see or talk to him or even have an e-mail..but w/e things could be worse or what ever though right...ya well thats about it...so i'll write more tomorrow...
bye bye

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 22:28:38 GMT

hey everyone...alright well i guess after leaving LJ for such a long time i guess people have just forgotten to still read my entries...either that or i was just forgotten...alright well don't mean to sound bitchy or w/e but i mean ya i come back leave notes on everyones entries and don't get any Reponce no wait sorry i got one and it was from a friend who i only talk to on OD and who DOESN'T have LJ alright well i am done bitching..
i really miss my boyfriend and i've been working my ASS off at work so i'm alittle flustered and alittle tired from lack of sleep..alright well kelly my friend whos in europe yay i was happy to finally hear from one of the many people i miss!!!well then Kristin and i are still playing phone tag..its been about a week now since that last time i talked to her..our to work lives and everything are not matching up....so ya we are now talking through e-mail and phone messages..oh yay super..alright well i got my 1st paycheck today*friday=pay day*and WOW i worked SUPER hard and i REALLY like the digits that i saw on my check....:)
thats a GOOD thing for me...alright well ya thats about it for me..tomorrow my mom and i get to spend the day together..so ya thats good....I GOT MY NEW SHOES i love them they are SOO pretty and shit..alright well done now bye bye

no title

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 23:52:27 GMT

hey,
wow everyone..it has been way to long since i've been on...well its summer and i thought that i could be having alot of free time and to be able to keep up with everyone and whats going on with them but i guess i was wrong...i have been working, learning Swedish hanging out with some friends, looking for a new job, hanging out with my horse and of course spending all the time i can with my boyfriend...
well friday i went to the beach for the weekend with my boyfriend and his family and my mom came and picked me up on sunday because monday he was leaving from orlando for europe for 4 weeks.. and well sunday on the way home my mom and i stopped at bluehigh way...the pizza place i USED to work out...used to being the key words...well ya so sunday i found out from my boss that i lost my job because the guy that i was preplacing over the summer came back from his trip REALLY early*he was suppose to be gone the whole summer* and well since i leave august 7th for Sweden they didn't want to hire me offically..so well monday my friend i hung out and i went and talked to someone about working for them and well ended up on getting the job and started working today..its awesome i work monday though friday 7:30-12:30 and then i have the weekends off..i work on a horse farm which is freaking awesoem because i love horses and this will keep me happy and busy until my boyfriend comes back from europe so i wont miss him to much i hope..i mean ya i'm going to still work when he gets back but i'll see him after work...well lets see aside from all those good things i found out yesterday that my friend (married and was pregnate with her 4th child) found out that her baby died and today she was going to give birth to a dead child..very depressing and up setting...this was going to be her 1st baby girl..she only has 3 months to go...i even gave her a baby book that i wrote...i had to make one for spanish class and when i go it back i have it to her for her baby because she*the mom of course* knew spanish!!
alright well i promise since my new hours with my new job are so much awesome i am going to try SOO hard to be on everyday to check up with everyone..well i better go..i'll talk to everyone later bye bye

its been for ever

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 01:26:56 GMT

wow..has it been forever since i've been on....well not alots happened i guess. my boyfriend and i are good...i totally love him....and today him and i hung out..like one of my best friends and i were hanging out and we called my bfs best friend and i were like yo sup? and so we started to hang out then we all drove out ot dunstans house. and hung out there..that was so cool....alex*dunstans best friend* and kris*my friend* really hit it off..it was kinda cool..and well tomorrow i am going to see dunstan for like the whole day i hope..idk i have to talk to him about it..and well thats about it for my day besides when i went to drop kris off we noticed that he dogs head about about the size of a football*and the shape of one* and there was blood coming from her eyes and mouth..well ya i stayed until her dog just died*no one was there so there was nothing we could do* and well my mom got pissed that i stayed b/c she wanted me home before dark but i was like mom she needed me and i am not going to leave her so deal w/ it.and we got into a fight but we made up and everythings good now...it was really sad, and kris was super up set but who wouldn't be??alright well i have to go...i leave august 7th incase no one knows and i am working 2 doubles one saturday and one sunday so idk when i'll be back but since today was the last day of school then i should write more..peeps leave me some notes..bye bye

YAY

Thu, 12 May 2005 01:39:11 GMT

alright well tomorrow i get to see Dunstan yay..it's been since saturday since i've seen him!!i miss him alot..talking to him online or on the phone!.so ya tomorrow i finally get to meet my friends "boyfriend"they act and do everything couples do just without the title. anyways ya today i found out when i leave for europe. i leave august 7th at 11:20am(the times not 100% final but it's a good possible time) from orlando..then from orlando i will go to Washington DC and meet with others going to Sweden or Germany and fly with them over to Germany and then from Germany i will fly over to Sweden which is where i will meet my family...i will arrive in Sweden on august 8th at like 12 something pm i think. so ya i will prob be sleeping on the plane from DC to germany...anyways...thats about it thats new for me...i'll talk to everyone later..and i have an orientation saturday and my band thingie..so ya..i'll let ya'll know how that is..bye bye
people please leave me notes!

my busy week

Mon, 09 May 2005 23:46:01 GMT

alright well for some reason i feel tension between kelly and i..she seems very distant with me and i don't know whats going on. alright well anyways..today was ok.i guess..i found out that that paper i was suppose to get today and was suppose to be due monday is now due friday and i still haven't gotten it and have i mentioned that it has to be 15 pgs...oh yes very exciting...well then i left my oboe at home...and borrowed one from mr.porter*the band teacher*and well played my solo in class and SUCKED at it..i am kinda pissed about it b/c i practiced over the weekend alot but i guess idk it was harder today then usually b/c it wasn't my oboe and it had alil bit diffrent keys and shit but w/e...well then tomorrow i am going to after school help session until about 3:30 then i get to go home and maybe go see truffles*depending on hw* and i hope tomorrow after school i can get my yearbook...well then wedesday i am going to go out to the farm and work my baby in the round pin so he can not get fat! and thats prob going to be my whole day after school. thursday is my bros 20th b-day so we're prob going to celebrate that and mother day*i know it's late but w/e* then friday i get to go to school turn in my 15 pg paper and my mom is prob going to go and get her nails done and i'll prob go w/ her i'll go see truffles and then saturday wake up nice and easrly go to Winter park orlando go to an orientation for my Sweden trip from 10-4 then get in the car Rush ALL the way to gainesville *hopfully get there by 5:30*for my band thingie and somewhere in there change in the car* go to the band thingie see dunstan and have fun..yay..i am so scared about the Orientation b/c i will be meeting all those whole i will be traveling to europe with then sunday i will SLEEP!!!!and prob do hw and study..i really wanna see dunstan sometime in that week but i dougb that it'll happen!!!!!w/ school and he's sick it kinda sucks but i'll see him saturday..yay..alright well thats it...
brit where in orlando do you live???

my weekend

Sun, 08 May 2005 23:44:50 GMT

alright well my weekend for the most past kicked ass...well friday kelly and i went to the mall and looked for a decent outfit for the band thingie this coming saturday*next weekend* and well ya she got this pretty black dress w/ this pink/black thing hanging off the side*sorry i suck at explaining it* but ya it looks AWESOME on her...and ya i got black slacks or w/e u call them..lol.w/ this pretty blue top thingie ya kelly picked it out b/c i suck at dressing all nice for stuff..lol..well than after that we just walked around the mall and talked..then kelly went and got her nails done...saw 2 people from pk there also...then kelly and i went to dinner *Don Pablos*YUMMY..i felt SUPER bad b/c i couldn't afford to pay for myself and i didn't wanna go b/c of that but kelly really wouldn't hear of it at all..it was quite fustrating b/c i wanted to pay her back or buy her dessert or something but she wouldnt let me do anything until finally she said i could leave tip..that made me happy...alright well after that we went and played w/ the dog that i ws dog sitting b/c i had to feed him..that was fun..the roads were SO horrible from the rain that it was so much fun to ride on..kelly did some weird tricks in the jeep which were SUPER funny and scary..one she ment to do and the other she like bit to many bumps and kinda lost control of the jeep but still kept it from going into the ditch and everything after that i was laughing SO hard and had to PEEE so bad but it was super funny and fun..well since we didn't crash or get hurt! well she toook me home and that was about the end of my night..OH but friday during school i found out that my band teacher is not going to let the flutes play my Oboe solo so that means at our concert may 17th i have to play it infront of all the parents and Dunstan and who ever else comes all by myself.i am SOOO scared!!!but excited also i've never had a solo part before..i have mixed emotions on it..well then saturday i woke up early again*just the my whole week* and went and fed the dog and then went to see truffles..he's been in a stall for a week and was going CRAZY!!!b/c he got surgrey he couldn't be out...then when we took him out he was so happy he was playing and kicking and bucking in happiness..it was SO great to see him SOO happy.. well after that i went and got a salad at the pizza place i work out went home took a shower found out my teachers son...then went and picked Dunstand up from his school b/c he had a band thing..then went to his house hung out w/ him and evertying until 8 then went home and did nothing...well then today i slept for 12.5-13 hours. *that was GREAT* then i've been home doing nothing all day* i watched oceans 12 w/ my bro* and ya thats about my dad my mom ddn't get home unile like 7 so ya that was the 1st time i've been her all day..alright well thats it...bye bye..
p.s:kyle where have u been...where are you.

how am i suppose to feel?

Sat, 07 May 2005 17:07:14 GMT

alright well i would write about last night but this entry really isn't for that mood. right now i this is for me most current feelings b/c i am lost and confussed that idk how to feel..about 5 mins ago i was informed that my band teachers son whos about 4 months old was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. my mom didn't tell me i had a friend call me freaking out b/c of what she just found out.and well idk how i am suppose to feel. Mr.porter and his family is like mine along w/ everyone else in the band and i've never had to deal w/ anything like this...i am kinda upset w/ my mom for not telling me but she said she didn't know how to tell me so i kinda understand..i feel so hopeless...i really do! i can't even begin to think what him and his wife are going through. baby porter*thats what he call him* is their 1st child and for them having to deal w/ this on their 1st child is horrible *even if it wasn't their 1st its still horrible* alright idk how to state everything...so ya thats whats going on..later 2night or tomorrow i'll update my weekend....bye bye

bla

Thu, 05 May 2005 03:23:59 GMT

alright well today i slept through my alarm..well actually i turned it off without waking up again..but it's hard b/c its my cell so like i have to open it and like hit the off button and everything so ya..well i got ready for school went and did my school stuff then after i went to the movies w/ dunstan..that was cool we saw the 2nd triple X movie..it was alright it wasn't as good as the 1st one well after that i had to run to someones house b/c i am dog sitting for them starting tomorrow..well came home and worked my day wasn't much...but yesterday i babysat and went to school and my friend fish gave me a ride to my moms work that was cool i guess...he's a scary driver but w/e..i'm still alive...well ya thats about it i babysat and well ARi said he doesn't like Dunstan he doesn't like his name or him b/c he talks to me.lol..he's only four and he already doesnt like other guys talking to me..lol..alright well thats about it tomorrow i have my spanish project and a quiz so thats about it...ttyl..bye bye

girls gone wild... :O

Tue, 03 May 2005 02:08:56 GMT

alright well i am going to start at the end of my day and then go to the beginning ang so on..
so i was on my comp talking to Dunstan and some friends and i get this phone call some some lady asking if i wanna do some girls gone wild shit i was like umm..NO and hung up..it totally made me laugh i enjoyed it..my friends were like u should have done it...but nope sorry..
alright now to my morning..
well i got woken up by my mom b/c she forgot i could sleep in b/c truffles went into surgrey today so ya well i didn't get to go back to sleep to much light in my room..but oh well..well we went and got truffles he was SUPER well loading up..then we took him to the vet..that was scary..he was stomping on the ride over there and screaming sometime but thats ok..b/c well horses dont really like rides in trailers.he totally worked himself up..he crapped everywhere and peeed everywhere*which means me the mommy has to clean it up tomorrow*so ya he got off the trailer SUPER easy and went right into the stall..like a good boy.well so my dad and i left and he took me to school school was normal it was school i have a F and history like i thought b/c of that test an A in enlgish and a B in geometry,,well then i went home did projects and thats abou the sum of my day tomorrow i am babysitting and then wedesday going to the movies w/ dunstan and then thursday going to some dinner place for mommies day..then dog sitting thursday friday and saturday morning and well friday going to mall w/ kelly saturday i hope ot see dunstan b/c we aren't going to the beach...and then sunday be w/ my mommie alright well truffles comes home tomorrow...i am SO excited..but i won't see him until like thursday..which is SOO bad...alright well g2g bye bye

i can't think of a title so this is going to be mine!

Mon, 02 May 2005 00:56:11 GMT

wow.doesn't everyone love my title..lol..alright anyways..well i ended up sleeping w/ the jacket the smelled like dunstan. its crazy i didn't mean to i swear but i'm not saying that i didn't want to..b/c i did really miss him..well i went to bed faily early and i slept kinda late i guess 10ish so ya that was awesome..i slept really well and had interesting dreams*not getting into that lol..they weren't bad tho* alright well m mom and i watched 2movies that idk the names to then she decided she wanted to watch the two towers so i put that on and during all these i was doing a project so i wasn't like being lazy all day i was going something important...well then i ran out of glue and went to this store in my town and asked for a gluestick and no one knew what it was alright PLEASE tell me kyle brittany anyone that u know what a gluestick is.
the guy at the store was like whats a gluectick i was like a stick w/ glue on it..DUH..lol..ya well so i never finished my project b/c i had no more glue so i'll prob do it tomorrow or something...well wedesday i get to see dunstan.i am SO happy about that b/c i really miss him..so it'll be great plus his lil bro won't be with us so thats good also...tuesday my friend fish has to drive me to my moms work b/c my mom will not have her car until like 5 or something..and none of my friends can drive me there b/c none of them have a car...well tomorrow i am going to the vet w/ truffles in the morning and then off to school then if he gets out tomorrow from surgrey then off to the farm but if not then home and hw...then friday well i will go to the farm prob if hes back by then just to see him and make sure he's doing ok..well thursday i have my spanish project due and a quiz in chem..then friday i don't have anything besides i think kelly and i are going to hang out and go to the mall we haven't been there 2gether in forever..except for friday after the meting pot*which was SUPER fun*b/c we were all dressed up and pretty and like everything and we went to the mall..it was awesome..lol.i've never done that before..alright well i was suppose to go to the beach with dunstan on saturday but his mom might make it later in the month and have a pary instead on saturday so ya hopefully either way i'll be able to see him...i better be able to...
alright well thats enough idk what else to say and ya i am done..bye bye
brit u still have to call me gurl...

my day

Sun, 01 May 2005 02:47:04 GMT

alright well today i woke up about 9 ish i think..i stayed in my pjs for like 2 hours..i love doing that then my mom and her friend come home and i get ready and we go out to the ocala jokey club...to see my moms friends babies*horses* and ya then we went and saw mine..he's going good it's been awhile since i've seen him..i stayed out there until about 4 and got some sun on my face...truffles got alil fustrated b/c i had him tied up in a stall so he couldn't more much and he's only a baby so he doesn't have a long attention spand...that made things interesting..he was kicking and pawing and like rearing up so we left him in longer until he decided he was done throwing a fit and was ready to calm down..we had him on a safty hook so he couldn't hurt himself...alright well after that cindy and i worked him alil in the round pin..that was alright..then tied him back up again and fed the the other horses..i didn't get attacked by the billy goat this time...truffles was to tired to realize that he was tied to a wall..lol..so he was good...then we washed him and everything the put him out to feed he was happy..after that went to the bar and met up w/ my rents got food(1st time all day to eat)so i was ALOT hungry!!!well then left b/c i didn't wanna hang out there and shit just wanted to get home..
alright well from all that i didn't do anything but work on my spanish project and hang out at home..
Dunsan is out of town w/ his best friend at a concert..talked to him a few times today sounds like he's having alot of fun...i miss him alot its been thursday since ive seen him last...and i told my mom i missed him and she handed me thses 2 jackets that his mom lowned up for me to possibly use for europe i think and said sleep w/ this 2night it smells like Dunstan..and well she was right it does smell like him..it was weird to hear my mom tell me to do that..lol.
well i am pissed at my bro b/c my comp won't let me check my e-mail and he won't fix it..BLA sometimes i hate him when his friends are over!!!b/c hes mean..they aren't doing anything and it takes him 2 secs but he still won't do it..
alright well i am done w/ my bitching.... i'll update later..bye bye
monday or tuesday i prob wont write b/c monday morning truffles gets surgrey and depending on how that does will depend on when he comes back and so ya i will be with him when he gets back...so ya i'll have to see..
alright well kyle i am confussed with that note...i wanna know whats going on w/ u..ttyl..bye bye
brit i love you.bye bye

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 13:38:10 GMT

survey time
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1.Shannon
2. Kate
3. Katie bug

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. gummyduckygurl
2. waterbug852
3. babie blui07

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. hair, sometimes
2. eyes
3. height *kinda weird*

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. belly
2. My thighs
3. legs

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. ?
2. ?
3. ?

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Spiders
2. CLOWNS!!!!!
3. feet

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. MUSIC OF COURSE!!
2. food
3. air

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. shirt
2. undies
3. shorts

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love, duh.
2. Fun, laughter, all that good stuff
3. Loyalty and trust

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i LOVE rubber duckys
2. I like someone right now.
3. clowns are my faverate thing ever

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. EYES
2. Smile
3. chest

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. photography
2. Horses
3. Listening to music

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. my boyfriend
2. food
3. my horse at my house

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. photographer
2. childrens Pediatrician
3. Doctor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. NY
2. CALI
3. Ireland

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Jordan
2. Madeline
3. ?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Sky-diving
2. Bungee jump
3. Successful life

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A DUDE:*yep brit i'm using yours*
1. Ha, that girl meant nothing just a piece of ass
2. Im Hot and to good for you
3. I can do anything I want, even if it hurts someone I love

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:*yep brit the same with that*
1. Im a drama queen
2. I have a period
3. I have boobs and a vagina

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. ?
2. ?
3. ?

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. kyle
2. kelly
3. ?

Dunstan

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 04:22:27 GMT

ok..wow..i wrote the entry below not thinking that my boyfriend was going to read it...and well so i kinda opened up on this LJ like i always so..i said my usually thing about my days and everything but then i said alil more..something that i hope happens and well..Dunstan ended up getting my user name b/c well idk it just happened and well i think it happened b/c i wanted it to in a way but at the same time i wasn't ready b/c it was TO early to be saying shit like that and then letting him be able to read it..Dunstan alright i know ur prob going to read this..or at least i kinda hope you do..i am sorry for the revious entry i hope it didn't freak u out to scary u...i know i'm ur 1st girlfriend since like the chick in 8th grade or when ever that was..i'm sorry ihave to remember that..so ya..this is pretty much a forgivness entry b/c i feel bad and idk weird i guess b/c of everything....alright well it was on my mind and well ur not online and i needed to get it out..thats why i have this..i'll talk to everyone later..
bye bye
Brit sweetie call me i am confussed...

another chapter in my book called life.

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 02:51:09 GMT

alright well i've been busy i had 2 tests this week..bother i did super bad!!!one i got the score and the other i didnt that was my world history test*38%*thats REALLY bad!!!!but the class average was like 44% so ya...that says something! and well during lunch i totally had a break down and started crying b/c someone asked me what was wrong and how did the history test go i said don't asked i grabbed my backpack and ran off crying..i am such a baby!!!but well ya that one little horrible test grade made me A(94)in that class go to an F b/c it's worth 75% of our grade..the thing that up sets me the most is i studied for HOURS and HOURS!!!!and i still failed..i am so fustrated!!!alright well today i went to the melting pot w/ kelly..it was fun the melting pot is a super nice fondue resturant and ya it was awesome kelly announced that i was her best friend i am SOO happy / relieved but at the same time confussed and scared..something went down w/ her and her bf kyle so idk where things are going to go..and i feel that what happened tonight was my fault..and kelly if it was baby i am SOO sorry..i really hope it's not!!!i feel now that everything happened that i should have kept my mouth shut!!!
alright well some stuff thats good:tuesday i went to dunstans concert and wel thursday he came over and hung out and we went to see guys and dolls at me school.it was good..and well it sucked b/c i am on my period so i am all like GRRRRRRR
well i realized that i think i am falling for him more than anything he makes me so comfortable and i laugh and have fun w/ him i am so carless of what people feel and think about us..i am so happy everyone!!i can't help it sorry everyone..i think i might end up falling inlove..and i feel bad b/c i have to leave for europe but if dunstan could only read this!!!i will come back for you...if you want me i'll come back...
alright well bye bye everyone leave notes luv ya
kyle sweetie i am sorry for everyhing luv ya man...talk to me

changes

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 23:07:31 GMT

alright well i went to the movies with dunstin on thursday that was really fun...well then friday i went on my band trip that was alright i guess i was sick the whole time and well friday we went to bathoon cookman that was freaking awesome it was for a music clinic thingie and then before that we went to interlocken which sucked people were assholes and then after that went to the beach for lunch...then went to bathoon cookman and after that went to a pirate dinner how that was ok i was a treasure hunter*smiles* but still felt like shit and suck as hell..well after that i we danced there and then went back to our hotel rooms and thats when i found out that i was assigned w/ a family for sweden*go me!!!* well then we went to sleep and woke up the next day and went to island of adventure it was alright i was in a group w/ my ex best friend which was awesome b/c her and i were like we used to be for once i miss her alot well then i was still sick but still went on rides and had a blast got alil sun..YAY well then went home and sunday didn't do much....monday i talked to dunstin about what happned at the movies like did it mean anything..and well we are now dating..i decided to give up on malkin he has a gf and he doens't need to cheat on her or mess w/ my heart nor hers and well dunstin is SO much better for me..alot less trouble and i feel comfortable w/ him too..i love being w/ him..so ya i am SO happy w/ him well thats about it..kinda sad that i don't get to see him this week but we are both SUPER busy but thats ok..i mean he has school and band stuff and i have school and work but tuesday i am going to his concert so i'll hang out w/ him before that and then go see him play...alright well thats about it..ttyl.bye bye

yet again another day

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 01:57:06 GMT

alright well today i had a rude awakening from my mom..she was freaking out and came in and told me i had 5 mins go get ready...b/c the vet changed our appt to 9:45 when it was suppose to be 12 so ya..and it ended up that they never casterated my horse b/c his other ball never dropped and was in the little tube thingie so he couldn't go get it..so now my rents have to spend a few hundred dollars and we have to take him to the Universtiy of Florida vet school and get surgrey to casterate him..i am so up set about that..well then i eneded up staying there from 9:30-4:30 and i didnt eat a damn thing so i was SUPER wanting food so i made my mom take my to Windy's...that sucked b/c now i am going to get fat and can't eat for about 3 days to get it outta my system!!!well then came home did a whole buncha nothing and went to my moms church and helped her clean..well that about sums up my whole day besdies this guy who i've known since 5th grade asked me if i would go to the movies w/ him this week after school i said ya he's super cool and ya he took me to an awesome concert...i had alot of fun!!!!alright well thats it bye bye

it was to soon.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 03:59:36 GMT

well ya this guy "trouble" or w/e i guess i opened up to soon and fell WAY hard!!! well i was talking to him tonight and well i found out that he has a gf now!..ya this TOTALLY sucks and hurts me SUPER bad i was stupid and opened up...i really need to work on that!!i thought he might like me by everything he has been saying to me and everything but i guess not..OH and on top of all this shit i know the gurl!!!!!!she's lives across the pond(in my back yard) from me and well we used to be best friends and then all of a sudden like i found out that she actually HATED me idk why or anything..so know i totally wanna kill her and on top of that too she's a SLUT and like had sex behind the bushes at school w/ some 6th grader or something when she was in like 8th grade which sorry is WAY young and kinda GROSS..well i guess i'm not good enough for another guy isn't that SUPER! damn i hate myself right now*more then usual*well yesterday i worked at the pizza place in my town and that went well and tomorrow i am working a double shift so i will make ALOT of money!!alright well thats really it about my life this week is spring break and well i pretty much have nothing planned because well all my friends have plans and idk..ya well i am going to go to bed i have to work tomorrow early in the morning,,ttyl..bye bye..

i am totally lost

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 21:37:15 GMT

alright well nothing much has happened..i've been going out and seeing my horse as much asi can..and yesterday he got his Hooves clipped...well today my ex boyfriend came into my lesson in the band room and dropped off @ BIG bags of shit for me well it was present and i HATE people giving shit to me.i feel bad and when it's from someone who is still totally in love w/ me and i have moved on i don't want to except it but my mom says to say thank you and keep it but idk i wanna give it back b/c i don't want him to think that this gives him hope and that by buying me stuff i am going to go back to him PLEASE help me idk what to do..alright wlel i have to go to work its my 1st day so i don't wanna be late..so leave me a note to help me PLEASE...

reality

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 03:46:39 GMT

wow..sometimes u find things out about people and when u do it really becomes a prob. to look at the person the same way..well if ur wondering what i am talking about well here it is..i was spending the night at my best friends house last night and well after my Oboe lesson we were walking down to our lockers and well some how we got talking about this guy that i talk to all the time on the phone to but haven't ever seen him and well she was like watch him be super ugly..then she goes i wouldn't EVER date someones who ugly..she's like i only go for the hott guy idc if i am going to date them they have to be hott they can't be ugly..well that upset me ALOT like SOOO SOO SOO much..it was crazy i was like wow looks aren't everything then well we were waiting for her mom to pick us up and she calls her and tells her to park in the parking lot and we'd walk to her and asked her why did u do that she said b/c my mom is embarrissing looking and so is her car i don't want people seeing me w/ that..i was like OMG ur my best friend but what a BITCH!!*i didn't really say that just thought it* well then like idk i thought wow ever since she became a cheerleader she is SO stuck up and like idk not who she used to be...those 2 things bother me so much b/c i am totally against all that shit ya know..idk maybe i'm just super weird..yeah well i finally got over that and well had a good rest of the night we went to her rents clothing store and had fun there then we went and stayed up until 2AM and slept in until like 12:30 well then we ordered lunch and did something that wwas SUPER fun but i am NEVER going to do it again..we ordered lunch from this place and our lunch for the 2 of us was $35 it was CRAZY lol..yeah never doing it again but def. fun to do just b/c lol..well then went out to see my baby*horse*b/c we moved him b/c the other guy was a con-artist where he was so we took him and moved him closer and he seems happier..well thats about it babysat and now home..so yeah bye bye

today is the day

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 23:25:16 GMT

alright well today i paid my $8000.00 for my europe trip..i went from not having anything to only being $600.00 short (i have to pay my mom back for that)we paid it and well i don't owe them money...its about 131 days until around the time that i am suppose to leave..idk where in Sweden i am going or when i am leaving besides early Aug. yeah..well i found out today that my grades have gone on SOOOO much..i went from 1 A; 2 B's 1 C 1 D 1 F..and now i have 1A 4Bs 1D so yeah i have def. went up i am totally happy alright well i won't write tomorrow b/c i am going to my best friends house..that means trouble ..lol..my friend and i get into ALOT of trouble when we are together..lol.alright well it's time for dinner so i have ta go bye bye